Happy new year. And welcome to my 2017 resolution.
You may be wondering, why am I here? Who cares about resolutions anymore #don’tpeoplejustdropthoseinFebruary? This WikaWitaWid is a stupid name – why not WapapapapaPaPow?
Let me answer by introducing each post’s layout: Brief Intro. Linebreak. Daily Vocab. Linebreak. WikaWitaWid. Sign-off.
And with that, we’re off and running…
WikaWitaWid (noun):  an underwhelmingly clever acronym for What I Know and What I Think and What I Do.  an open contribution, objectively-biased website that features, unlike fake news and sneaky politicians, honest and humorous responses to a series of newsworthy subjects.  The cream of the WWW crop.
What I Know
I know that I am not a writer, but I can express my thoughts in a series of humorous quips, run on sentences, and puzzling transitions. I am not a comedian, but I do like to tell jokes. I am not a psychologist, but I LOVE asking questions, much like a parent would if you tried to sneak out the front door dressed like a freaking peacock, claiming to be “studying with friends” at 18 years of age on a Saturday night. I am no Sherlock Holmes, but even a cow could solve that BS (I butchered that joke). I am also not a teacher, but I like to help people learn facts. Case and point: if you need help understanding where BS comes from, I will be here all year lighting the fake news world on fire. Finally, I am not a wapapapapapapow-ing fox, and I most certainly do not want to be seen in public arguing copyright infringement against a guy who sings in a fox costume.
What I Think
I think that people bond over good experiences, and that these positive memories aid in longer term retention and healthier lifestyles. You’re here because you’re either bored, really bored, or you are devilishly intrigued by the concept of using humor to build awareness around certain issues. If you can’t laugh, won’t laugh, or are practicing to become a mime, then you may find it difficult to enjoy this site. Also, this resolution will make it to at least March. Maybe you were thinking of your Valentine’s fate #lovelyburn? But seriously, I wish nothing but the best for you two…as long as you share WikaWitaWids with your partners this February. And no that’s not an innuendo.
What I Do
I do not hate on people. I may make fun of them constantly, but
they probably have more money or power than fifteen golden Poseidons and can take the heat I will do so to highlight something ridiculous. Better yet, things that are objectively ridiculous. For example, saying I’m crazy is SUBJECTIVE and, frankly, quite confusing. Am I crazy smart? Crazy stupid? Crazy good looking? Those at the rumor mill will have a field day with that one. Less confusing, however, is a popular poll that shows that I’m an 8 out of 10 on the crazymeter. That is OBJECTIVE because in said poll, we can find a statistically relevant fact, which is scientifically rooted in a hearty explanation of what it takes to be a 10 on the crazymeter: “a person who sits alone in the dark with a cat while writing a blog post and uncontrollably laughing.” Lo and behold, I am sitting near dusk with a cat, writing a blog post, and laughing occasionally. 8 out of 10 checks out.
Spread the good news,